Birthday Thoughts and Memories

Tomorrow I’ll be a year older (and hopefully wiser).  But somehow, celebrating it doesn’t hold any thunder like it did before.  No sense of excitement… rather, with a tinge of foreboding.  Maybe I’ve finally become jaded.  After years of half-expecting and half-wishing something special will happen – surprises around the corner – I’m putting my foot down in being realistic.  Daddy wouldn’t be waking me up early in the morning to greet me a Happy Birthday, no midnight text barrages from my circle of friends and then some…, no more personalized greeting cards or group cards with all the birthday wishes from classmates and colleagues, etc…  Even Mom is out of town.  Somehow, I’d just wish it were an ordinary day tomorrow.

My office mates are dropping hints asking what will I be preparing for them on my day.  And for once, I’d like to be just greeted without being asked to throw a party (or shoulder the food and drinks) just to make it FEEL special.

I miss school life.

Those were the days that my closest friends would surprise me with just the simplest of things.  Too bad though that I often catch them on their plans.  But it’s the thought that counts.  I miss getting letters and little notes from them.  And frankly, those unexpected surprises always put a smile on my face.

No more of that though.  As an early present, I had to terminate one employee this afternoon.  Then tomorrow, another labor case to attend to.  A Happy Birthday to Me! Quite a gloomy backdrop.  It’s not easy to be unaffected.

Another reason not to celebrate?  Funds.  Payday’s a few more days and I’m low on budget.  Plus there are a number of debts to pay up on.  SIGH…  Let’s skip this one.  Sort of depressing to linger on.

How I wish… a LOT of things.  Like, to be greeted, to be remembered, and to have some things to smile about.  I’m trying to think positive… Hakuna Matata, No worries, Everything will be alright.  My mantra’s not working.

I seem to end up down these days.  Being alone sometimes sucks.

Anyway, I’m perking myself up listening to Allstar Weekend’s Not Your Birthday.  Catchy. Here are a few stanzas.

Every clock is ticking faster
Taking trips around the sun
Another year, another chapter
5 and 4 and 3 and 2 and 1

Drop your calls, lose your keys
Before the night is gone
Get yourself out your seat
Oh, oh

Quit complaining, move your feet
Until the break of dawn
‘Cause nobody really cares about
The day that you were born

Except for everyone who ruins your birthday
You gotta party like it’s not, party like it’s not
This song’s for anyone who is having the worst day
You gotta party like it’s not, party like it’s not

Oh-o-oh
Party like it’s not, party like it’s not
Like it’s not your birthday
Party like it’s not, party like it’s not

Oh-o-oh
Party like it’s not, party like it’s not
Like it’s not your birthday
Party like it’s not, party like it’s not
Oh-o-oh

An Hour To Live

If you only had an hour to live, what would you do with those 60 minutes?

Hmm… Thought-provoking.

What came to my mind were memories of school years wherein teachers and selective books taught that “if you knew you were dying, how would you spend your last few hours…” the ideal way to live those last few moments is to spend it the way you spend your everyday life.

I guess that would be the case for some people.  But I’m not so sure if I’ll go for THAT approach myself.  I mean, if I knew I had only 60 minutes to live right now, being stuck at the office in my last hour wouldn’t be a nice way to go.  Besides, it’ll be a field day if that ever happened.

If this were my final hour, and I knew about it, I would be living it!  No plans, no second thoughts.  I’d rather be spontaneous!

Great Things Come In Small Packages

I couldn’t agree more!

I mean, take a moment and think of the wonders of the iTouch.  A small package, but packs a wallop in giving loads of entertainment for the young and old alike.  My bffs ‘ day probably wouldn’t be complete if they can’t play Tap Tap Revenge, or Cut The Rope. Add to that listening to their favorite tunes and playlists, watching videos, taking pictures/videos (for 4th gen), PLUS being able to browse the internet in some Wifi hotspots!  Talk about multi-tasking!  Never a dull moment for those who have this baby.  (And loads of sleepless nights too!)

I’m itching to have one too but that would not be a reality anytime soon (unless if I win millions).

Moving forward…

Another small package is the mobile phone.  Depending on your preference, mobile phones have come a long way from what I was able to witness in it’s evolution phases.  From big, bulky, manly-type mobile phones to small, hand-held phones that vary for it’s functionality, fashion statement, “social statement”, and uniqueness.  One is ever at a constant quest on the “perfect” phone that would encompass all the most sought after functions.

But what I will never tire of mobile phones is it’s capability in connecting two (or more) people who are worlds apart.  Just this morning I was able to keep in touch in a number of people I rarely see.  There’s also one bff who’s inner desires she expressed through text.  I love being able to receive photos of friends from far away on things that have happened, or something new they’ve seen.  To borrow Smart‘s tagline: SIMPLY AMAZING.

And I’m down to my third item.  The main reason why I’m making this blog.  Well, just before break time, an officemate who i could say I’m not that close to (but get along with just fine) surprised me with his pasalubong for me.  A bag of Krispy Kreme doughnuts!!!  Just two pieces actually.  But I was truly touched since he gave me a separate package from what he gave to one group in the office.

It may have been a small package (not even a box) but it truly made me smile.  It wasn’t just the content or its wrappings, but the thought, the gesture, the effort made that made me feel special.

My Krispy Kreme Surprise

On a sidenote, one contractual worker offered me his small box of raisins which I gladly accepted.  What’s nice about it was that I was just expecting the treat of raisins when I noticed that the box housed a cardboard cut-out for a raisin paper doll.  Sweet!

Raisin and Paperdoll all in one

Another small package – FRIENDS.

They all come in different shapes and sizes.  Each differing from one another.  But each one offering more than what you would expect.

My year 2010 ended with a bittersweet note.  The first Christmas without my daddy, and welcoming a new year without his comforting presence.  But nonetheless, I’m thankful for celebrating the last days of 2010 with my friends, and enjoying the first few days of the New Year (2011) with the comfort of my closest friends.

Cheers to you guys!  And thanks for being my small packages in life that I could always grab on and carry with me – memories and all.

couldn’t find a group picture that was complete. Settling for this instead – A “Big Top”

An Unexpected Call

I was commuting earlier last night heading for home when I received a call from one of my “mothers” at work – Mama Nancy.  She called me up to rant about the goings-on at work with regards to one of our committees wherein she was the chairman.  She holds the position as a committee chairman of our Canteen Committee – the committee which has received it’s endless share of complaints and issues from other employees, and currently, her main topic of her rant.

Just a brief background of the issue: one employee emailed his “grievance” via email (sent to the whole plant rather than air it out to the committee).  Emailing would have been fine but proper protocol and etiquette should have been followed.  What was his point in emailing it to the whole plant?  In addition, why use capital and bold letters in his heading and body of his email?  The content of his email does not bear repeating.  What was worse was, 2 other employees of his department seconded his email.

Talk about demeaning.  As I gathered, she had been feeling hurt and insulted since Tuesday and it was only yesterday morning that we were able to talk face to face.  Our committee had an emergency meeting to address their concerns but on our part (as members of the committee), we could feel that our PM had already made up his mind on who to side on rather than listen to both sides.  By the height of our meeting, Mama Nancy was getting emotional and then walked out.  She broke down and cried and I ended up following her and consoling her.  Afterwards, we returned to the meeting.  Seeing the guilt-ridden faces of the complainants were no consolation.  It just fueled the fire of resentment towards them.  Where was their strength?  Was it just false bravado?

So, during our conversation, she kept on ranting and letting losoe her anger and frustration.  I was merely there as a sounding board and giving the necessary cues to appease her troubled mind.  It’s been a long time since we’ve talked and I was quite surprised that regardless of not talking too long with each other, she felt comfortable in sharing with me and saw me as an ally.

What was most unexpected was her statement about me.  She really admired my strength in taking on the side comments, complaints, backstabbing, etc. that I seem to get from the office.  She’s quite amazed that I can just let it not affect me.

It was quite a surprise for me that someone would observe me that way.  I have always known that I am a tough person.  But never did I expect to be admired in such a way.  Much less someone more experienced in office politics.  I always thought of myself as someone who’s awareness is heightened especially in places unwelcomed.  And for some reason, her compliment made me feel good regardless of the many pains, frustrations, confusion, and desolation that I have been feeling during the latter part of my working days.

Though I’m still contemplating on my resignation, I am glad to have known that my stay in my current work has given other people something worth remembering by.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Written by Marianne Williamson

Recited by Timo Cruz (Coach Carter 2006)

Hold Your Dream

I was thinking earlier on how a person, regardless of age, can still learn new things every day.  There is always an endless supply of things to discover in the world, a source of wonderment in every nook and cranny awaiting its notice.  Maybe because of its countlessness, people just direct their attention to those easily seen for their convenience.  Most often, letting go of their dreams just to belong, to fit in, and to be on stable ground (financially).

There’s nothing wrong with that.  I’m guesing that it gets the best in all of us to have a foothold in this fast-paced world.  But, there are times, we revisit our dreams deeply hidden in the realms of our subconscious hoping to be reawakened.

Anyway, here’s one song from Fame the movie that I find very inspiring in some of my dark days.  I got to watch it once with a few of my friends and I can say, if not for the lyrics, then the voices of the artists would truly amaze you.  You can watch the video of the final performance in the movie here.

Fame Movie Poster

Hold Your Dream
Fame Cast

Countless hours of learning more
Countless hours of knowing less
Can’t look behind you you have to look ahead

So many doubts running through your mind
All the excuses don’t have the time
All the rejection you have to leave behind

Leave it all behind

Hold your dreams
Don’t ever let it go
Be yourself
And let the world take notice

You’ll find strength
When people bring you down
They will see
If you will only, only believe

Someway, Somehow (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Don’t give up now (Don’t give up)
Don’t be afraid to succeed (To succeed, yeah)

Someway, somehow (Come on, everybody)
The time is right now (It’s our time, yeah)
Don’t be afraid to succeed (To succeed, yeah! )

Hold your dreams
Don’t ever let it go
Be yourself
And let the world take notice

You’ll find strength
When people bring you down
They will see
If you will only, only believe.

Health, Safety, Security, Environment Seminar: Fire Fighting

September 24, 2010

Our scheduled Health, Safety, Security and Environment Seminar started at around 9am in our sister company’s plant site. Being one of the participants of the seminar, I was very excited to get to visit a different plant within the region and to meet up with our other plant counterparts. It felt like going on a field trip since it was a good 20 km ride from our plant to the seminar venue. With 2 of our managers, participants as well, offered a ride for the employees who had no cars. We went on convoy (me hitching a ride with our PM), didn’t have to worry much about jeepney fares and getting there in time but more so in keeping the conversation light and active on the way to the venue.

Anyway, on to the seminar. As I’ve mentioned, the topic was about Health, Safety, Security and Environment. Our facilitator was from our Corporate office who invited speakers from Pilipinas Shell and one other speaker from the local Bureau of Fire Protection. The key points revolved around gasoline and lubricants, and – the star of the show – FIRE.

What is FIRE?

As one of the personnel who occasionally conduct safety orientation in our plant, I’ve asked this question to newly deployed contractual workers as well as contractors and I’ve read the definition to them as well. But for the life of me, I couldn’t whack my brain enough to remember the exact words. I knew it had the words “rapid” “oxidation” and “process” but I couldn’t string it all along. What I did? I googled it (Thanks to my Opera Mini powered Nokia 5800). But by the time I was able to search it, our SFO4 speaker already presented the description and definition of FIRE.

Fire is defined as a rapid oxidation process of a certain material in the chemical process of combustion, releasing heat, light, and various reaction products. In the diagram he showed (the old one, he says), fire is composed of three elements: fuel, heat, and oxygen. So without any of these three elements, fire wouldn’t ignite. In the presentation of the final speaker, he again asked what ignites fire. I answered it using the new tetrahedron (and got a t-shirt for it. YEY!). The new diagram of fire is composed of: fuel, heat, oxygen, and chemical chain reaction.

Fire Tetrahedron

Aside from the overview of fire, and the responsibilities of firemen, responsibilities of local industrial personnel (like us), various presentations were about fuel safe handling, bulk receiving and transferring, and proper storage of fuels. Though it wasn’t too applicable in our plant since we don’t have fuel bunks or direct deliveries of large quantity fuels, it was very insightful to find out how transfers are done and what needs to be considered in terms of health, safety, security, and the environment. Safety has always been an interesting field for me, and learning new things that enables me to piece together the knowledge I’ve gained so far helps in improving my self-studies. I also enjoyed listening to the speakers who really knew their craft well.

The best part of the seminar, (aside from the free am and pm snacks and lunch, the free snacks we got to take home, and the goodies from the speakers) was being able to make use of a fire extinguisher. In theory I already knew how. It’s easy as P-A-S-S. P – Pull the pin; A – Aim the nozzle; S – Squeeze the lever; and S – Sweep the base of the fire. However, former Fire Chief of Global City Taguig, mentioned that instead of PASS, an additional letter. T. It stands for: Test. Test the fire extinguisher if it still can “expel” the respective extinguishing agent depending on the type of fire. So it should be P-T-A-S-S.

There are 4 classes of Fire which I knew about. I’ve listed them down for your guide:

Class A Fire – paper, rubber, cloth, coal, or what would generally turn into Ash.
Class B Fire – Flammable liquids and gases, or those that Boil.
Class C Fire – electrical wirings, electrical cables, control panels, or those that have Current
Class D Fire – self-igniting chemicals such as magnesium, sodium, uranium, or fires with combustible metals.

And the newest one which I just learned is:

Class K Fire – cooking oil and fats, or what’s commonly considered as Kitchen fire.

After the inputs, we headed off to the plant’s open court wherein two drums were set in place and surrounding fire extinguishers were strategically placed for us to use. One by one we got the chance to put out the fire a couple of times until we fully exhausted all 6 fire extinguishers. It was SO much fun to put into practice what I just learned.

In a nutshell, I’ve listed down just a couple of things that I was reminded off plus a few new interesting and important bits and pieces I learned from the seminar.

1. When fuel is transferred, it causes static electricity. Though pipes may be negatively charged, fuel being transferred is of positive charge thus causing friction and creating static electricity. A dangerous combination for fire.
2. Metal is a good conduit of static electricity.
3. When fuel tanks unload, grounding should be established prior to unloading.
4. When creating bungwalls (the walls surrounding fuel storage tanks), bungwalls should be 110% of the biggest storage tank (I think this is in terms of the volume/capacity of the fuel tank).
5. There is no such thing as “faulty electrical wiring”, only “faulty electrical engineers”.
6. Fire is fuel, heat, oxygen, and chemical chain reaction.
7. There is a new class of fire. Class K or what’s commonly remembered as: KITCHEN FIRE.
8. Never turn your back on the fire you’ve just put out. You’ll never know. It may ignite again.
9. The rollover or the licking flames/dancing flames in a fiery inferno is the biggest sign that the area is about to explode
10. Fire extinguishers have no expiration date. The purpose of the expiration date given by those that provide FE’s is for the purpose of checking whether the unit itself is still functioning properly. There is no need to replace an unused FE even when if it has reached it’s tagged expiry date.
11. Only fire extinguishers that have been used will be refilled with the respective extinguishing agents for optimum use.
12. If the pin of the FE has already been removed, it should already be replaced. Though unused, chances are, the extinguishing agents have already been seeping out of the container.
13. The shelf life of fuel is only up to 3 years. After that, you need to replace your stored unused fuel.
14. ALWAYS wear Personal Protective Equipment (most especially when handling or doing dangerous works. Always be safe.
15. Always have a copy of all emergency numbers. Fire Department, Police Department, Hospitals, etc.
16. Stay calm. Don’t panic.
17. For kitchen fires, don’t throw water over the fire. Blanket the fire with a damp cloth for 30 minutes or take a large lid big enough to cover the fire.
18. Fire drills must be conducted at least once a year.
19. Only Fire fighters are allowed to play with fire.
20. Prevention is always better than cure.

There were still a lot of key points which the speakers and facilitators have mentioned. Mostly were too technical for me already. But I believe I can say I’ve learned a lot, most especially things and information which is highly applicable for my position.

Thank God I was able to join this seminar. even if i had to fight tooth and nail to be in Davao before Friday.  Hope to get to join more. 

Fueling the fire for learning

Don’t Quit

A poem so apt to what I’m feeling right now.  This was one poem which was shared to me during my high school days.  As a Preparatory Military Training (PMT) cadette, we were tasked to memorize this one for recitation purposes, and for boosting our morale.  Hope this still works for me now.

DON’T QUIT

hen things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit –
Rest if you must, but don’t quit.

ife is strange with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –
You may succeed with another blow.

ften the goal is nearer than
It seems to a fair and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

uccess is failure turned inside out –
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit, –
It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.

– Author Unknown –

With the things going wrong right now, I hope to still be able to smile.

DON’T QUIT

The Sponge, The Abstract Painting, The IDs

A certain memory struck me this morning with no apparent trigger.  It was a memory of  my first year in college during our Psych 101.   Prof told us to bring an item that would symbolize (me) us.  We would then be presenting our chosen symbol and explain to the class why.

The assignment wasn’t anything new.  I remember our English Lit. teacher in high school asking us of the same  homework.  I vaguely recall drawing a sponge (yes, had to draw it) and write a short caption of our drawing.  I think I said something about me absorbing and absorbing emotions then with an ounce of pressure, eventually pours out my thoughts and feelings however messed up they may be.

Nah… I didn’t really write that down.  Not all of it though.  Only the absorbing part.  But in retrospect, that described one part of me.  Or rather, the part of me that I was focusing on.

During presentation, I saw my classmate describe herself as an abstract painting.  I was thinking, ” wait, I can relate to that to.”  But I would be scoffed if I imitated that.  I’ll just use it next time.  So I ended up with my sponge then later on wrote a poem about abstract paintings.  Which you can read here.  An abstract painting seen by many but not truly understood.

Fast Forward to my college presentation.

There I was in front of my classmates – a good 20+ group of people -  and I raised up my collection of IDs which was quite in during high school (having a lot of IDs meant you were part of a lot of clubs/orgs/events).   I don’t remember what I said exactly but it was along the lines of “my ID represents my identification, my being.  For I may have a lot of IDs that show a different part of me with various audiences, I am still who I am searching for where I truly belong.” Or something like that.  I wish it was somewhat profound for a college freshmen.

Moving on.  At the end of all presentations, Prof said something that I will always remember the message.  The lesson was something like this:

Human beings are amazing creatures.  We are able to associate ourselves to things or items to epitomize our personality, our being.  There is NO one symbolism that would best describe us.  We are dynamic.  How we view our own selves is so broad and varied that one single solitary object may not suffice.  How we see ourselves is more important.  To be able to see ourselves – our strengths and our weaknesses, our vanity and humility, our inner turmoils and outer successes – that’s what makes us humans unique.

[If any of my former classmates are reading this.  Correct me if I'm wrong in reading our teacher's message!]

As I end this post, I’ll share.  At times,  I have associated myself before (and even at present)  as a sponge, an abstract painting, and a bunch of IDs – objects that I seem to stitch with my being in a SAD tone.  But being a unique individual who I’d like to think whose thoughts have matured a bit, I have a more positive description.  Here goes my analogy:

The Sponge = My resiliency.   Still able to absorb and keep on absorbing; always carrying on and learning to let go.

The Abstract Painting = My hidden abilities.  Always underestimated (which I truly love about myself) but always having a surprise in stock.

The IDs = My identity (or who I project to be).  The journey in life is still far from over.  My views may change and the road may not show me yet to where I’ll be, but I know where I belong – with ME.