Just a thought on my living status…

Looking towards Swifts Creek, December 14, 200...

Image via Wikipedia

I was browsing my Facebook account this morning I came across posts from my batchmates saying hello to their closest friends in different parts of the globe.  One particular entry caught my attention.  A former schoolmate was giving the figures on the hour differences of their state location using Daylight Savings Time (DST) to another.  They seemed to be planning on meeting up or something at a certain state.  I’m no expert in DST but it’s quite an astounding thing to be in the same continent but be in different times.  Amazing.

What hit me the most was that a great number of my former schoolmates are all living/working out of the country, so it seems.  Then I realized that my living status is far, far different from them.  I pride myself in graduating from one of the prestigious schools in our country.  But it wouldn’t have been possible if my mother didn’t work there.  Compared to my schoolmates who can afford to enroll at Ateneo with their parents able to pay, I was just a mere “scholar” of my mom.  I’m not complaining of that fact though.  On the contrary, I know that I’m lucky that I got the opportunity and the same prestige as an alumnae from my alma mater.

But there are more times when I think that I don’t belong.  Though I have a number of former schoolmates whom I’ve gotten close to and comprise my circle of friends, I feel a bit out of place at times.  And it seems that regardless of what I try to achieve, it always falls short compared to what they can do and what’s so easily given to them.

I’m not talking about just my friends though, more so in general.  Gee… I don’t know, I guess the pressure of work is really eating at me, gnawing me from the insides and at the same time drowning me in a pool of self-doubt and self-pity.  But still, a large part of what I’m feeling is true.

I should stop now.  I’m starting to confuse my self all the more.


About d@rk_@ngel_kn!ght

A traveler at heart, a bystander by nature. On good hair days, I look like a cobra with my hair serving as my "hood". On other days, I'm better off left alone. Genuine, sweet, thoughtful, and simple.

Posted on September 15, 2010, in A Wandering Mind, Friendship and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. awwww, lemme give you a hug sitse :p

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