Can’t Hardly Wait


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What are you looking forward to this year?

I’m looking forward to a couple of things.  Such as: a new and stable job, my own small-scale business, to be free from my debts, and be at peace. Not specifically in that order, but altogether closely intertwined.

December of 2009 was a financial blow to our family.  My dad got hospitalized and underwent Exploratory Laparotomy due to the sudden enlargement of his general abdominal region.  He was diagnosed in having a cirrhotic liver by the end of his surgery.  So Mom had to pawn my heirlooms, so to speak.  As for my part, I took out a couple of loans to help out in keeping making my dad comfortable when he got discharged that year.

Seeing my dad getting better on the early quarter of 2010, I took out another loan for personal means, not considering that we still had a large amount to pay up for hospital bills (since our company HMO didn’t shoulder the maximum benefit limit for my dependent).  I guess I still believe in fairytales and happy endings; that mom and dad would just make things okay, and everything will be alright with me just tagging along for the whole ride.

Dad’s speedy recovery had a bad turn by the middle of the year and it was only last November, when he got admitted again that I learned the truth.  He was dying.  Cancer of the liver.  What a blow!  You would never expect it of him.  He was still able to drive his car, enjoy his favorite pastime (Bingo), and was as ever stubborn as a mule.  I wasn’t ready to lose a father.  A lot of things were still not in order and stuff to be shared– unpaid bills, unfinished business dealings, music, long-lost father-daughter hugs, butterfly kisses, and belly-aching laughter.  But seeing him fight on for his life, his struggle with his pain, the sleepless night he endured while in the ICU squeezed my heart all the more.  That’s when I told him to rest.  We’ll be fine and take care of everything.

My dad died on the second day he was hospitalized, with his immediate family surrounding him – me, my mom, my half-brothers, and his siblings.  Until now, I can still feel the palpable silence of his last few hours, and the quiet sobbing of my aunts.  I had to be strong.  If not for myself, then at least for my mom.  The impact of losing my dad’s presence at home was not something I was prepared for that day.  I wasn’t even able to hug his remains before being transported to the morgue.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not blaming my dad for leaving us in a financial hole.  I would rather be stuck in that hole than losing him.  But it couldn’t be helped.  Mom and I just need to work out a lot of things to end out financial worries.

If that wasn’t bad enough, my work life took a turn for the worse before 2010 ended.  My new female boss (FB) has, in her not-so-obvious way, hinted that I should resign.  I’m still not open for this discussion on this since I’m still processing this.  I’ve already had a few interviews but no takers yet.  I just hope I’ll be able to land a more stable position with a more satisfying compensation and benefits package.

There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.

When I was about to turn in my resignation earlier this week, my FB didn’t accept it.  We convened at my new male boss’s (MB) office to discuss about it.  My MB didn’t want me to resign at all but his hands were tied since our head office managers were calling the shots.  He asked for an extension.  And so far, that has been a great sigh of relief on my part.  Honestly, I didn’t want to exit if I had nowhere else to go.  So I’m still staying (for a few more months) until I find a new job.

Planning a Business

I’m looking forward to a recent business venture I’m planning on.  My best gay friend (BGF) and I are in cahoots in setting up a mini walk-in beauty parlor at home.  Bgf was talented in this area but he claims not having a passion for it (probably due to lack of funds and tools).  So I offered him our house as a venue, I’ll provide the equipment, and spread by word of mouth (and perhaps “model”) his works for any possible customers.  Nothing big yet, but just a few heads to start the business running.  If this comes to reality, I’ll be able to get a head start in my financial stability issue.

Another business I’ve been planning on for quite a few years now: Book rental.  I’ve got tons and tons of pocketbooks all gathering dust in our attic.  It would be a shame to throw them out.  I love books after all.  Since most are used books, I’ll just have them leased for a small price, gain members, get popularity, and see what happens next.  I’ll even branch out in researching and other clerical skills I can throw into.  Who knows, it just might click.  After all, we’re in a neighborhood close to a couple of schools.

I’m pumped about these ventures.  Can’t hardly wait!

In a Nutshell

Financial stability (if not free of debt) is what I’m gearing towards this year and for the succeeding years.  I’m working on landing on a better job and starting up my small-scale businesses.

I just need a few jumpstarts and motivators to get me moving.  I hope you’ll help me along the way.  If you’ve got suggestions or ideas that would somehow improve my plans, feel free to comment.

Well… I’d better get back to work!


About d@rk_@ngel_kn!ght

A traveler at heart, a bystander by nature. On good hair days, I look like a cobra with my hair serving as my "hood". On other days, I'm better off left alone. Genuine, sweet, thoughtful, and simple.

Posted on January 13, 2011, in A Blog A Day/Week, Family, Work and more Work and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. I know what you mean for 2010 being a hard year, we went through a similar thing with my husband’s father. Stay strong, having the right attitude will keep you going and from your blog entry it looks like you’re really looking forward and focusing on doing something that’s important to you!

    • Thanks for taking time to read. Thank you as well for your encouraging words. Your husband is lucky he has you by his side in difficult times.

      I still get affected at times but I’m keen in making my plans work.

      Thanks again for dropping by!

  2. Dear blog buddy,
    You have been through a lot in the last year and my heart goes out to you and your family… Losing a parent is a huge crush and the emotional pain stays for a long while. Add to it the loans and the job machinations and I can feel your stress…
    The job market is not as vital and it’s better to start a new business when you have some income coming from elsewhere or a cash reserve to last awhile. Please hold onto the job for as long as possible… 🙂
    Looks like I’ll be doing the vampire schedule for blog visits/comments… My day times are getting hectic…. but I’m all in. 🙂

  3. Checking in… How are you?

    • Hi Elizabeth! Been so busy with my regular work and inspiration seems so rare to strike. Haven’t been able to go online long enough to start blogging.

      Thanks for checking in! Hope you’re doing fine too.

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