Birthday Thoughts and Memories

Tomorrow I’ll be a year older (and hopefully wiser).  But somehow, celebrating it doesn’t hold any thunder like it did before.  No sense of excitement… rather, with a tinge of foreboding.  Maybe I’ve finally become jaded.  After years of half-expecting and half-wishing something special will happen – surprises around the corner – I’m putting my foot down in being realistic.  Daddy wouldn’t be waking me up early in the morning to greet me a Happy Birthday, no midnight text barrages from my circle of friends and then some…, no more personalized greeting cards or group cards with all the birthday wishes from classmates and colleagues, etc…  Even Mom is out of town.  Somehow, I’d just wish it were an ordinary day tomorrow.

My office mates are dropping hints asking what will I be preparing for them on my day.  And for once, I’d like to be just greeted without being asked to throw a party (or shoulder the food and drinks) just to make it FEEL special.

I miss school life.

Those were the days that my closest friends would surprise me with just the simplest of things.  Too bad though that I often catch them on their plans.  But it’s the thought that counts.  I miss getting letters and little notes from them.  And frankly, those unexpected surprises always put a smile on my face.

No more of that though.  As an early present, I had to terminate one employee this afternoon.  Then tomorrow, another labor case to attend to.  A Happy Birthday to Me! Quite a gloomy backdrop.  It’s not easy to be unaffected.

Another reason not to celebrate?  Funds.  Payday’s a few more days and I’m low on budget.  Plus there are a number of debts to pay up on.  SIGH…  Let’s skip this one.  Sort of depressing to linger on.

How I wish… a LOT of things.  Like, to be greeted, to be remembered, and to have some things to smile about.  I’m trying to think positive… Hakuna Matata, No worries, Everything will be alright.  My mantra’s not working.

I seem to end up down these days.  Being alone sometimes sucks.

Anyway, I’m perking myself up listening to Allstar Weekend’s Not Your Birthday.  Catchy. Here are a few stanzas.

Every clock is ticking faster
Taking trips around the sun
Another year, another chapter
5 and 4 and 3 and 2 and 1

Drop your calls, lose your keys
Before the night is gone
Get yourself out your seat
Oh, oh

Quit complaining, move your feet
Until the break of dawn
‘Cause nobody really cares about
The day that you were born

Except for everyone who ruins your birthday
You gotta party like it’s not, party like it’s not
This song’s for anyone who is having the worst day
You gotta party like it’s not, party like it’s not

Oh-o-oh
Party like it’s not, party like it’s not
Like it’s not your birthday
Party like it’s not, party like it’s not

Oh-o-oh
Party like it’s not, party like it’s not
Like it’s not your birthday
Party like it’s not, party like it’s not
Oh-o-oh

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About d@rk_@ngel_kn!ght

A traveler at heart, a bystander by nature. On good hair days, I look like a cobra with my hair serving as my "hood". On other days, I'm better off left alone. Genuine, sweet, thoughtful, and simple.

Posted on August 10, 2011, in A Blog A Day/Week, My Two Cents Worth, [Life] Lessons Remembered and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Happy birthday! It’s ok not to want to throw a party, just fdo what you feel like. It’s YOUR birthday, not your collegues’. Hope you can enjoy your day a little tomorrow.

  2. Today I wish you ordinary miracles, a fresh cup of coffee, an unexpected phone call, perhaps a comment on your blog :-),a good song and little pieces of perfection to make your day extra special – Happy Birthday 🙂
    Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving your kind comments – appreciated 🙂

  3. Happy happy birthday bff.. Don’t be sad na, you always know that we’re here for you.. I’ll make it up with you when i’m home 🙂

  4. you’re very welcome!! success, at least for once hindi mo na foil ang surprise, hihihihi 🙂

  5. Happy Birthday… See the bright side of things… it is your birthday and you’re alive! 🙂

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