Christmas Eve is just a few hours away. Pretty soon the quiet will settle and I will have the house all to myself.
A couple of my friends have been incessantly inviting me to spend time and have Noche Buena with them. Repeatedly telling me (and others) matter-of-factly that I’m spending Christmas with them. However, I politely declined each offer. I have such great friends who are so sweet, so giving, and so loving. I know they mean well and they don’t want me to be on my own for Christmas. But I don’t want to be an imposition. And frankly, I prefer to be at home for this season. To be closer to the memories of my parents. Where I can be myself. (Put it this way, it’s easier to treat this season in a normal note rather than be reminded of things that have gone.)
When my parents were still alive, we didn’t have any Christmas traditions (the must-have foods like what’s commonly commercialized on TV). As long as there was food on the table, and we went to the Christmas Eve mass that was already enough. It was just like any normal day at home. So I guess our celebration was just downplayed. I guess as I grew up and we all grew older, Christmas was more celebrated in solemnity rather than being a party.
For someone who’s sometimes tagged by friends as a “social butterfly” in most occasions, I honestly prefer the quiet of my home during this Christmas. I guess the past few years (since the time of my dad’s first hospitalization) I’ve lost my moxie in holiday preparations, cheers, and even spirit. But then again, my Christmases were usually spent at my grandma’s house with my relatives.
Wow… I forgot about those memories…
Anyway, now that I’m currently on my own I should start on making my own traditions. Maybe go out and ride my bike, turn up the volume on my music, visit my neighbors, play dress-up, map out my lifeplans… Lol. Well, whatever I may have planned, it’ll be something of my own.
To my bffs, if you’re reading this, please don’t worry about me. It’s cute (and annoying!) that you’re constantly monitoring me but I am totally fine being on my own for this season. I know (and you keep on reminding me) that I’m not an imposition and that I’m practically part of your family but I can’t help feeling like a spectator from the outside-looking-in. And there are some seasons I have to celebrate on my own. You guys enjoy your own traditions while I celebrate (for now) . I’ll see you real soon!
Posted on December 24, 2014, in A Blog A Day/Week, A Wandering Mind, Family, Friendship, From The Outside Looking In, [Life] Lessons Remembered and tagged christmas2014, postaday, postaday2014, postaweek, postaweek2014, solo flight, thoughts. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.