What About Me?

I consider myself as a thoughtful person.  Sometimes deep in thought, but on the surface always with a ready smile in place.  Even after a couple of years from graduating college, I’m still in the constant journey in self-understanding and acceptance.  My attempts in preparing my so-called “prize-winning” write ups seems to fall short of my self-expectation.  Most of the time I feel I’m a bit too hard on myself, at times, I seem to sell myself less than what I believe I’m capable of.

My day job generally exhausts me and my patience.  Dealing with different people are fine but it gets difficult when your boss tells you to meet everybody’s expectation.  How seen will THEY realize that it’s THEIR presence that causes dissatisfaction and frustration of employees.  If not for the occasional sports activities (such as basketball and badminton), I’d be too stressed out and would have fallen prey to stress eating.

I consider myself as a loyal friend.  I prefer the comforts of old friends (same as old jeans and sneakers).  But that doesn’t mean I shun out the opportunities for new friendship to blossom.  I’m the type of person who would go out of her way in making new acquaintances feel comfortable with the group.  But more often than not, I end up being a wallflower – observing every nuances of interaction.  Regardless though, there are also a number of laugh out loud sessions with my friends on nonsense discussions as well as soul-baring talks on family, pain, love, and life.

I like going out be it hanging out at malls, outdoor activities, to hanging out at friends’ homes.  I’m a slight techie junkie but lack the funds to adhere to my addiction (thankfully!).  I try to be in the loop of things without trying too hard.

I prefer standing out but still fit in.  Confusing?  Not really.  I love paradoxes and oxymorons.  The contrasts and play of words complement each other.  Its like lateral thinking.  It sometimes doesn’t make complete sense, but it makes sense as well…

In short, I guess at times I don’t make sense and give off mixed signals.  But my “no-senseness” eventually makes sense – at least for me.

Just a small info on why I chose d@rk_@ngel_kn!ght or dark_angel_knight in its simpler forms.  Since I love paradoxes and oxymorons, these 3 nouns stands for it.  Dark contrasts with a description of an angel which is light.  (I idolized Jessica Alba on her Dark Angel series).  Knight stands for a certain part of my history and it fits well with dark angel.  In my own terms, dark_angel_knight is a misunderstood knight (or viewed negatively) but is really leaving others to speculate and assume since being misunderstood happens when more talk is given.  Being underestimated is a good way to turn right-side up detractors.

Anyway, I like saying what’s on my mind (but in the right place and at the right time).  My thoughts, however, says differently.  Always escaping my conscious efforts in catching the gist, but silently hovering along the tendrils of my subconscious.

I’m a simple person.  A note, a pat on the back, a positive comment here and there goes a long, long way in putting a smile on my face and feeling good about myself. I’m not a picky person in nature, but I would love to establish lasting friendships and sincere interaction with the people I meet.  Though the internet is too wide a place in touching lives and building friendships, I hope that, in more ways than one, how I see the world would touch a part of someone’s life.