I was commuting earlier last night heading for home when I received a call from one of my “mothers” at work – Mama Nancy. She called me up to rant about the goings-on at work with regards to one of our committees wherein she was the chairman. She holds the position as a committee chairman of our Canteen Committee – the committee which has received it’s endless share of complaints and issues from other employees, and currently, her main topic of her rant.
Just a brief background of the issue: one employee emailed his “grievance” via email (sent to the whole plant rather than air it out to the committee). Emailing would have been fine but proper protocol and etiquette should have been followed. What was his point in emailing it to the whole plant? In addition, why use capital and bold letters in his heading and body of his email? The content of his email does not bear repeating. What was worse was, 2 other employees of his department seconded his email.
Talk about demeaning. As I gathered, she had been feeling hurt and insulted since Tuesday and it was only yesterday morning that we were able to talk face to face. Our committee had an emergency meeting to address their concerns but on our part (as members of the committee), we could feel that our PM had already made up his mind on who to side on rather than listen to both sides. By the height of our meeting, Mama Nancy was getting emotional and then walked out. She broke down and cried and I ended up following her and consoling her. Afterwards, we returned to the meeting. Seeing the guilt-ridden faces of the complainants were no consolation. It just fueled the fire of resentment towards them. Where was their strength? Was it just false bravado?
So, during our conversation, she kept on ranting and letting losoe her anger and frustration. I was merely there as a sounding board and giving the necessary cues to appease her troubled mind. It’s been a long time since we’ve talked and I was quite surprised that regardless of not talking too long with each other, she felt comfortable in sharing with me and saw me as an ally.
What was most unexpected was her statement about me. She really admired my strength in taking on the side comments, complaints, backstabbing, etc. that I seem to get from the office. She’s quite amazed that I can just let it not affect me.
It was quite a surprise for me that someone would observe me that way. I have always known that I am a tough person. But never did I expect to be admired in such a way. Much less someone more experienced in office politics. I always thought of myself as someone who’s awareness is heightened especially in places unwelcomed. And for some reason, her compliment made me feel good regardless of the many pains, frustrations, confusion, and desolation that I have been feeling during the latter part of my working days.
Though I’m still contemplating on my resignation, I am glad to have known that my stay in my current work has given other people something worth remembering by.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Written by Marianne Williamson
Recited by Timo Cruz (Coach Carter 2006)
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Escaping Thoughts 